The Obligatory New Year's Day Post: 2018 Edition

I have never been a big believer in New Year's resolutions. Perhaps it is the chore of finding weaknesses and personal blind spots I dislike or maybe it is the feeling of failure I am prone to feel when I don't lose the weight, miss a day at the gym and don't learn to speak Mandarin. I am not alone in this feeling. A meager eight percent of people who set New Year's resolutions actually achieve them. What about the other 92% of us? What are we to do?

Instead resolutions, I have spent the last few New Year's Days thinking of the past, finding ways to be grateful, and setting intentions and hopes for the coming year. This year, I have decided to share them with you. 2017 wasn't easy for anyone but there were golden nuggets sprinkled around like glitter at a gay club. Here are some of my reasons to be thankful:

Thank You, 2017

I Was Recognized by EqualityMaine

I have been volunteering with EqualityMaine since I moved to Maine in 2012. My first experience with the organization was canvassing door-to-door to encourage people to vote "yes" for marriage equality on the ballot, an initiative Mainers supported. Since then, I have helped plan two Galas, a Halloween party, marched in a Pride parade with them and answer anytime they call.

This year, I was flattered to receive the Out-Front Leadership Award, an honor that touched me. EQME does the vital work needed to protect the rights of the LGBT community in Maine and accepting this award was one of the most meaningful honors of my life. I look forward to working with them in 2018 and beyond.

I Raised $1,500 for Charity

I love a challenge and I have a hard time backing down. This became evident over the summer when I was asked to help raise money for the Barbara Bush Children's Hospital. Long story short, there was a dunk tank, my former CEO, and a challenge to raise $1,000. I (with the help of my colleagues) crushed this goal and put the entire leadership team in a dunk tank.  

I Became an Uncle

One of the greatest things to happen in 2017 was the birth of my beautiful niece Morgan. She came into this world over the summer and has captured the hearts of all who meet her. She is a delightful, happy, and curious little girl and I am so excited to watch her grow

Becoming an uncle was by far my happiest moment all year. Despite the chaos of daily life, when you look in the eyes of a baby you see and feel things differently. 

I Ran My First 10K

I have never been a stellar distance runner, I've never been much of a runner at all. As a kid, I had my first panic attack when I was in elementary school and was told I had to run a mile as part of my grade. I knew it wouldn't be easy I'm built like a refrigerator and running just wasn’t in my cards. I can still remember the fear and terror I felt that morning on the bus when I realized there are cows that run faster than me.

This all changed over the summer when I ran my first Beach to Beacon 10K. It was a daunting challenge, but out of sheer will and stubbornness, I pulled through. I finished the race in 56 minutes and 28 seconds and have never felt such a rush in all my life as I did; sprinting across the finish line to my friends greeted me with a celebratory gin and tonic.

I (Finally) Started a Blog!

This has been a long time coming but I couldn't be happier with myself. Writing, cooking, and storytelling are some of my passions and this blog will become my space to share with the world (or scream into the void, whatever).

I Got the Help I Needed

Of all the things I am celebrating today, the most important thing I did for myself in 2017 was to admit that I have problems I cannot solve on my own. I have a past with depression and anxiety and after years of struggling, I finally asked for help. After months of work with a professional, I am happier and stronger than ever.

Mental health is vital and must be taken seriously. I love my life, I love my family and I love living, sometimes it is hard and sometimes it is cruel, but we must carry on.

If you or someone you know needs help, do not hesitate to reach out. Here are resources to help.

Hello, 2018

2017 was a hell of a year for me but here is what I'm looking forward to in 2018

Running My First Half Marathon

Competition runs deep in my veins. It is a genetic disposition my sister and I inherited from our parents. As I mentioned above, I ran my first 10K last year and now I'm hooked on distance running. It has gone from the cause of great heartache and stress to a sacred and cherished time for me to be alone with my body and thoughts. This spring, I'm running the Shipyard Maine Coast Half Marathon. I don't expect to win or even come close to winning but I do intend to cross that finish line and look forward to crushing this personal goal.

Turning 30

Sometimes I dread the thought of getting older. One of the things I worked on with my therapist was forgiving myself for not being everything I wanted to be when I was a kid. I've always been ambitious and a big dreamer and from a young age, I set the bar high for myself and have beaten myself up for not reaching my goals. Instead of considering this a moral and personal failure, I have opted to look at things differently. First and foremost, I'm only turning 30 and there are plenty of examples of people who found their passion later in life.

Now, rather than saying I'll never be something because I'm not that now, I simply say "it hasn't happened, yet". That last word is vital because putting arbitrary expiration dates on things causes so much unnecessary stress that it often leads to inaction. So what if I'm not a celebrity chef yet, Julie Child didn't even know how to cook until she was in her mid-30s and she died one of the culinary worlds most exalted heroes. All good things are worth the wait. 

Getting Married

In 256 days, I am marrying the kindest and most loving man I know. Anthony and I are an anomaly of the gay-dating world in that we met on Grindr, fell in love almost immediately and have been together ever since. Our relationship is not perfect, but it is perfect for us and exchanging vows in front of our family and friends will surely be one of the happiest days of our lives.

My friend, Cody Barry, took this photo (and more). Check out his work here.

So there you have it. My reflection on 2017 and my hopes for 2018. Whatever your goals and aspirations are, I hope you reach them. 

Caramelized Onion and Potato Fritatta

Everyone needs at least one great breakfast recipe in their arsenal. Sweet or savory having a go-to recipe for the morning is not only impressive but gratifying.

For me, this is it. I love eggs and this is savory, light and simple. I almost always have the ingredients on hand and I can saunter around the kitchen while it finishes in the oven. The result is light, fluffy and delicious. What else do you need on a cozy Sunday morning?

Caramelized Onion and Potato Fritatta

Ingredients

6 Eggs, separated
1/4 C ricotta
2 onions, sliced
1 teaspoon dried thyme
salt and black pepper
1 large russet potato, sliced thinly
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 oz. crumbled goat cheese
1/4 c cheddar cheese, shredded

Directions

1.      Preheat the oven to 300

2.      In a small bowl, combine the egg yolks, ricotta, goat cheese and half the cheddar. In the bowl of a stand-mixer, whip the egg whites to soft peaks - about 2 minutes.

3.      In the bowl of a stand-mixer, whip the egg whites to soft peaks - about 2 minutes.

4.      In a heavy skillet, heat half of the olive oil. Add the onions and season with salt, pepper and thyme, sauté until the onions begin to caramelize - about 5 minutes.

5.      Arrange the potato slices in an even layer on the bottom of the pan.

6.      Fold the egg whites into the egg yolk mixture and pour evenly into the pan.

7.      Add remaining cheddar cheese and bake in the oven until the middle is firm but not collapsed – about 12-15 minutes.

8.      Remove the pan from the oven and allow to cool slightly before serving.

Hand Rolled Pasta

A few summers ago, I found myself stranded on an island with my family during a gnarly spring storm. With nothing to pass the time, I looked around for something to cook other than lobster and clams. My mother-in-law had given me a pasta roller that Christmas and it had made its way to the island that weekend, so I settled on trying my hand at fresh pasta. As wind and rain pounded the cedar shingled cottage, I settled into our humble kitchen and began what would become an obsession.

By obsession, I mean flow charts, several afternoons of pasta making and rolling and so, SO many carbs. After all of this, I emerged with some pretty dope pasta skills and a great standby recipe. Fresh pasta isn't exactly a weeknight meal. From start to finish, I usually have close to an hour (or more) invest in a batch of dough. Despite the time commitment, there is a healing element that comes with working with dough that I love. 

Of all the pasta Anthony and I have made together, ravioli is my favorite. Using the ravioli stamp my mom bought me years ago, we have made ravioli stuffed with lobster, spinach, cheese, onions, chicken, and so much more. Savory ravioli? Done. Sweet ravioli? Duh. Spicy ravioli? All day, every day. 

With the holidays in full swing, Anthony and I have been busy rolling pasta and stuffing ravioli that we will give our family and friends for Christmas. 

So far, we have made close to 100 ravioli and two pounds of dry shapes. The real star though, is the lobster ravioli and lobster packages. With lobster, shallots and ricotta these boys are rich and pure decadence and turned out remarkably well. 

Rolling enough pasta and ravioli to gift as gifts for 8 people takes time, patience and love. Making dough is easy and stuffing ravioli is simple with the right technique and you can always find time to make things for yourself but finding time to make this much pasta, knowing I will not eat any of it, was the biggest challenge of all!

As we rolled however, I had time to reflect on who we were making these gifts for. My parents, my sister and brother-in-law. Anthony's mother and our friends. For me, these are people who have seen me through so many passages in my life, each of them leaving their mark and impression on me. I do not live close to most of my family but we remain close in each other's hearts and I cannot wait to see everyone this year. 

Lobster Ravioli

Ingredients

For the Dough
2 cups flour
2 whole eggs
4 egg yolks
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil

For the Filling
1 T Olive Oil
2 C Chopped Shallots
1 1/4 lbs. cooked lobster meat
2 teaspoons black pepper
1 tablespoon fennel seed, toasted and ground
zest of 2 lemons
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon thyme
3 cups ricotta cheese
1 cup parmesan cheese

Directions

1.      Make the dough:

o    In the bowl of a stand-mixer, combine the flour and salt. Using the hook blade, slowly mix in the eggs and knead until a shaggy dough is formed.

o    Turn off the machine and carefully knead the dough by hand in the bowl until it comes together into one piece.

o    On a light floured work surface, knead the dough until it comes together. Wrap in plastic wrap and allow the dough to rest in the refrigerator for one hour.

2.      While the dough is resting, heat the olive oil in a heavy pan. Add the shallots and cook over medium high heat until they just begin to brown. Transfer to a mixing bowl and turn off the stove. 

3.      Pulse the lobster in a food processor until it is finely chopped, add to the shallots and stir. Stir in the pepper, fennel, lemon zest, nutmeg and thyme and add the parmesan and ricotta. Stir until the mixture is even and smooth. 

4.      Divide the dough into four pieces. Press the dough into small discs and roll with a rolling pin. Pass the dough through a pasta roller until the desired thickness is reached. (I go to 4 on my Kitchen Aide attachment)

5.      Lay a pasta sheet flat on a lightly floured surface and cut in half. Set one half aside and lightly wet the other. Using a teaspoon, form the filling into 1-inch balls and arrange on the dough. Cover with the other sheet of dough and press the dough tightly around the balls of stuffing. Cut either with a stamp, pastry cutter or knife. 

6.      Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil and plunge the ravioli into the water. Once the ravioli float, remove from the water with a slotted spoon and serve with an herby browned butter and parmesan cheese. 

Classic Marinara

Homemade marinara is one of the easiest sauces to make and is truly worth the [tiny] effort. This dish, when made from scratch, has amazing flavor and consistency and takes only a few minutes to pull together. Even better, the ingredients are pantry staples that you most likely have on hand so you can easily come home and throw dinner together with minimal effort any night.

Classic Marinara

Ingredients

¼ C olive oil
8 garlic cloves
28oz can tomatoes
1 C water
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp dried oregano
1 tsp crushed red pepper

Directions

1. In a low and wide skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Stir in the garlic when hot and stir until aromatic, roughly 30 seconds.

2. Add the tomatoes to the skillet and immediately add water to the can, swirl and pour into the sauce. Stir in the herbs and red pepper. Reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes or until thickened.

3. Optional: Add the sauce to a blender and roughly chop to create a smooth consistency.

Spiced Blueberry Hand Pies

It is no secret to those who know me that I absolutely love pie. Sweet, savory, freeform or meticulously styled, I love it all. I have been trying to hone my baking skills lately and have turned to pie on a number of occasions. What I have found from trying recipes including this great one with vodka from Cook's Illustrated that tends to be my standby. With a solid foundation, anything is possible. 

This year, I was responsible for bringing pie to Thanksgiving at my cousin Jen's house. Wanting to stretch the imagination a bit and do something new, I scoured the internet for inspiration. I wanted something unique and admittedly a little showy. I found two that fit the bill; Cranberry Chiffon by from Saveur and Crème Brulee Pie from Erin McDowell on Food52.

I am happy to report that I tried both this year at Thanksgiving and they were a success. Naturally, I had to bring the Crème brûlée pie to Jen's house so her kids and I could play with the obligatory blow torch. There are other ways to brûlée some sugar but a blow torch is 1 - the easiest way and 2 - the most fun way.

I have been trying to use up some blueberries leftover from the summer. Sticking with the pie theme, I opted for spiced blueberry handpies. For those of you unfamiliar with hand pies, they are basically pop tarts for adults. I wanted something flakey, handheld and complex in flavor. The blueberries, cinnamon, lemon and chili powder (yes, chili powder) combine to make a great filling. 

Spiced Blueberry Hand Pies

Ingredients

1 pie disc
1.5 C. frozen blueberries
3 T. sugar
1 T. ginger
1 T. cinnamon
1/4 t. nutmeg
1/8 t. chili powder
zest of 2 lemons
a pinch of salt
1 egg
1/4 C. heavy cream

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 300

2. Roll out the dough into 9 inch circle 1/4" inch thick. 

3. Toss the blueberries with the sugar, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg, chili powder, lemon zest,  and salt until evenly mixed. 

4. In a small bowl, whisk together the egg and cream. 

5. Cut the pie dough into 8 even sections and coat with the egg mixture.

6. Spoon the blueberry mixture onto the dough wedges, top with more dough and seal around the edges with a fork. 

7. Brush the tops of the handpies with the remaining egg mixture and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 30 minutes or until the tops are golden brown. 

Bone Broth

There are few things as versatile, easy, cheap and carefree as homemade bone broth. For years, I was a slave to boxed broth and bouillon. I was addicted to the convenience, flavor, shelf life and well, salt. I am a fan of roasting entire chickens. Even though I knew I should use the bodies for stock, it always seemed like such a chore. I had made it in the past with leftover kitchen scraps and it was delicious but who has time to stand over a stove and stir chicken body around a stock pot? Not me!

I fell back in love with bone broth when I started making Pho. The broth in pho is the star. Sure, an egg, freshly grilled chicken and garnish is nice but when you really have good pho, it’s all about the broth. This revelation inspired me to approach this idea to every broth I make.

By playing around with different herbs, spices and aromatics, I soon realized that broths can be wildly versatile. Once you have the basic recipe down, you can get creative with how your broth tastes. Try a basic chicken stock like the one below, or the one I make for my Pho that has a spicy and slightly sweet flavor. Once you try chili with a homemade beef broth, your life will change forever.

One last thing to love about making homemade stock: It can be completely free. Every time I roast a chicken, I carve the entire thing and throw the carcass in a Ziplock and freeze it. Then, as I prep things like whole carrots, celery and onion, I throw the ends into another bag and freeze those. When it comes time to make the stock take both bags out, empty them into a pot and start adding your spices. Almost free.

Here are the basics.

Chicken Bone Broth

Ingredients

1 chicken carcass
1 cup roughly chopped carrots
1 cup roughly chopped celery
2 onions, quartered
3 garlic cloves
3 T salt
1 tsp black peppercorns
½ tsp white peppercorns
2 sprigs fresh thyme
2 sprigs fresh rosemary
2 bay leaves

Directions

1. Using butchers twine, make a small bouquet with the herbs.

2. In a large stock pot, combine all of the ingredients for the broth, cover with water and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1½ hours. Strain through a fine mesh sieve into a large bowl