Farewell 2019 and Hello 2020
While 2019 comes to a close and the internet is either obsessing over baby Yoda or still trying to figure out what day it is, I’ve been spending time reflecting on the last year. Sure there was impeachment, Kanye became a gospel artist and who will ever forget the great Popeyes versus Chik-fil-a debate of 2019? For me, 2019 was a year of growth, celebration, and hope. Despite all that is wrong in the world, good things did happen and I am happy to have shared in some wonderful, joyous moments.
Top Five Moments of 2019
I became an uncle again! As a tree was crashing through my house, my sister was giving birth to my nephew, Wyatt. The night he was born there was a wind storm moving across Maine and leaving a path of destruction in its trail. Despite the damage and work that had to be done, Anthony and I were so excited to wake up to the good news. Wyatt is proof that every dark cloud has a silver lining.
Anthony and I celebrated our first anniversary. I’m not sure how I convinced him to stay with me after all this time, let along marry me, but he did and here we are. We celebrated with seared duck breast and a Bianca Del Rio show. Mrs. Kasha Davis was there too.
I finally gave up all forms of nicotine. This one was a long time coming. I started smoking when I was 18 and smoked on and off up until January when I bought a Juul. I ripped on that Juul all summer long, not knowing how bad it actually is, until this fall when I switch to Nicorette and eventually gave that up as well. I’ve tried quitting multiple times in the past however this time feels like the final time. I couldn’t be happier and I know everyone around me is happy too.
I took over managing my family business. Despite how much I enjoyed working at the bank, nothing compares to managing the family business. I’ve sent every summer of my life on Cabbage Island and have worked there in some capacity since I was 13. Working alongside my parents, uncle, aunts, cousins and my 99-year-old grandmother is a rewarding way to spend a summer. It helps that I get to drive a boat every day too.
My sister opened her own business. This one technically happened last year but The Collective really took off this year! My sister opened an artist collaborative, gallery and workspace in late 2018 and has been working hard to build the business all year. I am so proud of what my sister has accomplished and even more thrilled it is in the same space as our parents’ old flower shop.
Goals for 2020 and Beyond
Learn to exercise for joy. Exercise for me has always been about metrics. I have long obsessed over how much I weigh, how fast I can run a mile and how many pushups I can do. To me, that was the whole point of exercising. To get faster, stronger and thinner. It wasn’t until I was listening to an interview with Kelly McGonigal on 10% Happier with Dan Harris that it occurred to me that I can exercise simply because I enjoy the activity and not because I want to be faster, stronger or thinner. To some, this might seem like an obvious notion but it frankly took me by surprise. You mean to tell me that if I don’t enjoy a certain form of movement, I don’t have to do it?! Where has this advice been all my life!? In 2020 and beyond, I will focus more on finding joy in movement that punishing myself for not running a 6-minute mile.
Deepen my meditation practice. On the same page as enjoying exercise for non-critical reasons, I also plan to deepen my meditation practice. I took Tae Kwon Do lessons for 10 years when I was younger and we always started and ended each class with meditation. At the time, I didn’t understand the benefits but when I found myself on a therapist’s couch a few years ago, he recommended I give it another try. Since then, I’ve been meditating daily-ish and really embraced the practice. I listen to 10% Happier with Dan Harris every week and listen to all the wonderful guests he has on to talk about meditation, its benefits and its place in western civilization. In 2020, I hope to deepen this practice and attend a retreat, even if it’s just a short one. If you haven’t tried meditation, I highly suggest you give it a try. It doesn’t have to be new age and weird, just sit and know you’re sitting.
3. Teach more pasta classes. I taught a pasta and ravioli class this fall at my sister’s store, The Collective and absolutely loved it. I loved it so much in fact that I plan to make a little side hustle out of teaching people of all ages how to make fresh pasta and ravioli. I am probably on the obsessive end of this spectrum but for me, making pasta and ravioli is not only fun but therapeutic and I can’t get enough of it.
4. Share my blog (this one!) with the world. For almost a decade, I’ve talked a big game about wanting to start a cooking blog. I’ve told pretty much everyone I know that it is what I want to do and they have all told me the same thing “that’s great, Ryan. So do it”. Well, a year ago I did. However, I haven’t told a soul about it because publishing this blog and sharing it with people I know is absolutely terrifying. What will my friends think? What about my family? Will the trolls come out of the internet to make fun of the way that I write, the way that I cook or any other fault they may perceive? I simply don’t know. What I do know, is that I’m tired of not trying to follow my passion for food. I’m tired of being scared and I’m tired of seeing other people do what I know I can do. So here it is. If you like this blog. Share it. Tell your friends, tell your mom, tell the stranger on the bus.
5. Start planning a family with Anthony. This is the one I am the most excited about in 2020. I have wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember. I remember being young and my mom forcing me to get rid of old clothes that didn’t fit and toys I didn’t play with and reminding her that my future children might appreciate the broken Power Rangers doll I had to throw away - I was 9. This year, Anthony and I are taking the first step towards becoming fathers. We are open to all paths to parenthood and are exploring everything from fostering to surrogacy. We are still a few years away from bringing a little one into our lives but I’m SO excited to get this ball rolling.
Whatever your hopes and dreams are for 2020, I hope you find the strength to be vulnerable and go out and get them. Happy New Year.
